We’re All Doomed!

10 reasons to bow down before your shark overlords

Annalee Newitz

10 reasons to bow down before your shark overlords

Sharks aren't just scary-looking and deadly. They're also superpowered. They rarely get sick, never sleep, and possess sensory organs all over their bodies that allow them to smell electricity and see vibrations.

Here are ten reasons (plus a bonus extra reason) to bow down before your shark overlords.

1. Sharks don't get tumors
A substance called squalamine in sharks prevents them from getting tumors. Squalamine suppresses the growth of blood vessels in any tumors that form, which starves the tumors of oxygen and food and kills them before they become deadly. For the most part, sharks are completely tumor-free (though there are rare exceptions). Scientists are trying to use squalamine in cancer treatments for humans too.

2. Sharks evolved millions of years before you did
The earliest sharks evolved hundreds of millions of years ago, when dinosaurs still shook the Earth with their footsteps. Plus, the oldest known fossil of a brain ever found belonged to an ancestor of the shark who lived 300 million years ago. Over time, sharks have evolved very little, though some scientists believe that their sensory organs have gotten more sophisticated over time.

3. Sharks have teeth that are sensory organs
Shark teeth are connected to their nervous system, and they can likely feel temperature and motion with them. They also have multiple rows of teeth that can rotate in their mouths, moving forward and backward as needed.4. Sharks have no bones
Though they are fierce and feel things with their teeth, sharks have no ribcage and their skeletons are all made of cartilage – the soft, fibrous stuff that you have in your nose and ears. This allows sharks to move extremely rapidly because they are much lighter than other marine creatures. It also means that if they are beached, they will collapse under their own weight and crush their organs, because they have no hard bones.

5. Sharks smell in 3D
Sharks can smell a teaspoon full of blood in a body of water the size of Loch Ness. They move toward prey within less than a second after smelling it, because they're able to distinguish which nostril received the scent first, and then zoom in the direction of that nostril. This gives them essentially a 3D sense of smell, which gives them a sense of where the smell is coming from as well as what it is. 14 percent of the shark's brain is devoted to the olfactory, or smell, system.

6. Sharks can also smell electrical fields, using a sense called “electroreception.”
Slate's Daniel Engber explains:

Electroreceptive organs (or “ampullae of Lorenzini”) sit inside little pores on the shark's snout. Living things submerged in salty seawater produce a faint electrical field that the shark can feel at short distances, allowing it to suss out creatures that bury themselves in the sea floor. Muscle contractions also produce little surges of electrical activity that a shark can detect using electroreception. (Research suggests that some sharks may use electroreception like a compass, to help navigate underwater.)

7. Sharks have ears all over their bodies
Running down the sides of shark's bodies is a set of sensory organs called the “lateral line.” It is partly made up of the electroreceptors that allow the sharks to pick up DC and AC electrical fields. But it is also packed with “neuromasts,” which scientists say “consist of canal receptors and pit organs and are mechanoreceptors that are sensitive to water movements caused by external sources as well as the animal's own swimming movements.” Basically they are underwater ears, or perhaps a combination of ears and motion detectors. Either way, they mean that any movement in the water near any part of the shark will be instantly picked up – and possibly subject to attack.

8. Sharks have self-cleaning skin that allows them to move ultra-fast through the water
Shark skins are covered in tiny, sharp scales, resulting in the common observation that they are smooth when stroked head to tail, but will cut you up if you stroke them tail to head (also, tip of the day: don't stroke sharks anyway). But shark skin isn't just there to mess you up. It also creates a cushion that allows sharks to slide rapidly through the water. As one shark guide put it, “Shark skin has . .. . dermal denticles. By trapping the water underneath [the] little dermal denticles, it basically creates, like, a cushion where the shark can glide through the water much easier.” Dermal denticles also keep shark skin free of pests and barnacles, which basically means it is self-cleaning. 9. They can swim across the world in less than a year
Great white sharks can swim 12,400 miles in 9 months. This is the fastest and lengthiest migration of any sea creature ever recorded.

10. Sharks never fall completely asleep
Sharks breathe by moving through the water, pulling oxygen water as it moves through their bodies. As a result, they can't ever fall completely asleep – they have to keep swimming. Recent studies demonstrate that they do this by shutting down parts of their brains, essentially falling asleep in in different regions of their brains at a time.

BONUS superpower: Sharks can be born by immaculate conception
When no male sharks are available, female sharks can have children via parthenogenesis, which means they can fertilize themselves. That's right – sharks can survive and have children without sex. They are basically unstoppable.

Out Of This World: Boating On Uranus!

Boat Would Sail on Saturn Moon's Sea

NASA is looking at sending a probe to explore the methane oceans of Titan.

By Irene Klotz Tue May 10, 2011 07:43 AM ET

Titan boat
Scientists are working on a mission to send a robotic boat to explore an extraterrestrial ocean in hopes of learning about how the building blocks of life began to assemble.

The destination: Titan, the largest moon of Saturn — bigger than Mercury and Pluto — which sports lakes of liquid methane and ethane near its northern polar region.

“We have no expectation of finding living things,” Johns Hopkins University planetary scientist Ralph Lorenz told Discovery News. “But we think the complexity of the organics (on Titan) can lead us to the steps toward life.”

With its rich stew of organic compounds, Titan, which has a thick atmosphere and weather systems, is believed to resemble primordial Earth, despite surface temperatures that hover around minus-290 degrees Fahrenheit.

“Titan is often referred to as a pre-biotic world. It actually has all the sort of building block chemicals that were present on Earth when life evolved. The idea for Titan is that with those very, very cold temperatures and with water being frozen solid, could life actually develop, or is it just too cold so those chemical reactions just can't get going?” project lead scientist Ellen Stofan, with Proxemy Research in Gaithersburg, Md., told Discovery News.

Scientists want to parachute a boat-like probe into the cryogenic seas of Titan for a 96-day mission to identify the moon's complex organic molecules and detail its chemistry. The probe would float like a buoy and drift around Titan's sea propelled by the moon's winds and waves.

The boat, called Titan Mare Explorer, or TiME, would include a camera to take pictures of the lake's surface, which may have ripples, bubbles, films and other features, as well as the moon's orange-hued skies.

“We want to be able to see clouds and storms and rain, so having it be light outside and not dark all day is important,” Stofan said.

Ideally, TiME would be launched between about 2016 and 2018 so that it arrives before the moon's north pole plunges into winter darkness and out of direct radio contact with Earth.

“Once the sun sets below the horizon, Earth is also spending most of its time below the horizon and you'd have to have a relay satellite (for communications) which way drives up the cost of the mission,” Stofan said.

TiME is one of three mission proposals selected by NASA from among 28 contenders to receive $3 million apiece for detailed concept studies. The other candidate missions are a comet probe and a spacecraft to study the interior of Mars.

NASA expects to decide next year which mission will win up to $425 million for development. The U.S. space agency also will provide a launch vehicle for the selected probe to reach its destination.

Do Boating and Intercourse go Together?

You would think the answer to this question would be obvious. However, here at “Florida By Water” we are not the kinds to answer a question without first doing our research. You’d think that this kind of research would be one of those jobs that most people would gladly volunteer for. But don’t make any assumptions; the quest for truth can be a long, hard road.

The quest for knowledge took me outside of our beloved state of Florida. I boarded a plane at Jacksonville International Airport and headed to the Philadelphia International Airport. From there we traveled hours and hours (okay – only 2 hours, but it felt like longer!) by car to Lancaster County PA. Along the way we saw signs for the thriving metropolises of Virginville and Blueball. No stops for us, though. Even though they sounded like interesting places, we were in search of Intercourse.

We traveled across the rolling hills and around some beautiful farms located along routes 340 and 772 until we reached our destination. Intercourse, PA. The town was quite beautiful; it’s a major tourist attraction. Amish horses and buggy rigs filled the streets with the clitter clatter of horseshoes on the asphalt. Smells of spring filled the air. The pace was relaxed and very laid back. It’s no wonder that Intercourse is a lifestyle we all strive for!

But back to the question of the day… Do Boating and Intercourse go together? First we drove all around the area. No lakes, no navigable rivers, no boat ramps; not even a West Marine store. We decided to check with a few of the locals in the shopping district. We presented the question in a way only a true boater could appreciate. Perhaps not surprisingly, the locals did not see the humor in our question. Therefore we concluded that NO, Boating and Intercourse do not go together. The major reason — no waterways. The second, less obvious answer? If you spend all day in Intercourse, who has the energy left for boating?!

In conclusion, it was a great place to visit, but if your heart is in boating chances are you should stay in Florida. There is more to life than just Intercourse.