OK, class today’s multiple choice pop quiz question is this: What is odorless, colorless, and tasteless, and can kill you?

A. World Of Boating

B. Scuba Radio

C. Greg the First Mate

D. Ignorance

   Trick question!

   The correct answer of course isn’t listed but in effect it is “D” 

   Allow me to explain for those of you uninformed about the dangers of “ignorance.”

   Ignorance as defined by M-WOD: : the state or fact of being ignorant: lack of knowledge, education, or awareness.

   In short, ignorance kills and it may have played a part in the deaths of two boaters this past weekend in Volusia County, Fl. I have it on fairly good authority that the cause of death for the two people in question will be CO ( Carbon Monoxide ) poisoning. Reports are that their vessel was equipped with an onboard generator but whether this or the vessel’s engines were the so-called culprits of the CO remains to be seen. There is also the possibility that the CO was emitted by a nearby boat and made its way into the stricken vessel. At this point this is all speculation but what is fact is that if the deaths were caused by CO a very simple device could have prevented this tragedy from occurring.

   Dear readers may I present to you the CO Detector.

                Cost: $116.94

   I can’t tell you how many times I have boarded a customers vessel and noticed that the CO detectors were unplugged, had the fuses removed, or had the circuit breakers disabled and when I would ask why they had done so the response I would usually get is that they were constantly going off and making a horrible screeching noise. So they chose to fix the problem not by investigating why the device is going off  but by disconnecting it? If that indeed is your course of action just make sure you do one thing. Let your remaining family members know if you prefer an open or closed casket.

   If you have spent any amount of time out on the water you may have also seen a proliferation of boats with portable generators strapped down on the swim platforms. Bad, bad, bad, and very dangerous. I give these boats a very wide berth and avoid rafting up anywhere near where they are. Chances are these vessels have not even been equipped with CO detectors and they are drawing fuel from either a portable gas tank or have plumbed a T-fitting into the existing gas feed line.

   Let’s take a few minutes and go over some facts about CO.

   Carbon monoxide or CO, not to be confused with CO2, which is carbon dioxide, is a colorless, odorless, tasteless gas that weighs just about the same as ordinary air, so it often becomes evenly distributed within the living space of a vessel.

    CO is highly poisonous due to its ability to prevent red blood cells from transporting oxygen to the body’s tissues. It cannot be readily sensed but it can show itself in the form of headaches and flu-like symptoms which can easily be misdiagnosed or ignored, to convulsions and unconsciousness, which if it has progressed to this point it’s often too late to take action.

   Several hundred people die per year as a result of CO poisoning in the United States alone, some of which are nearly always aboard recreational or commercial vessels. Because of the airtight nature of boats and the near universal presence of CO producing devices,i.e, stoves, heaters, engines and generators, the occupants of these vessels are at an increased risk for CO poisoning.

   CO is a product of  incomplete combustion of carbon-containing fuels. Gasoline engines produce CO. The less efficiently they are operating, the more CO they produce. Engines in poor tune or those that are inefficiently loaded produce more CO. Annual maintenance anyone?

   Diesel engines produce CO although in far less quantities than gasoline engines. The rate of CO poisoning from diesel engines may be low but they still should be considered sources of lethal amounts of CO. Regardless of CO content, inhalation of diesel fumes in sufficient quantity can be harmful and even lethal. Diesel exhaust contains about 0.5% CO, compared with a non-catalyst equipped gasoline engine’s 7-11% CO. 

   If you suspect you, a passenger, or someone you encounter is suffering from CO poisoning, the treatment is moving immediately to fresh air and then administration of 100% oxygen. The best solution to CO poisoning, however, is prevention, don’t let it happen to you or your passengers.  CO detectors are readily available and should be installed aboard every boat, in every accommodation space especially the sleeping quarters. 

    CO detectors do need to be replaced somewhere between 3 and 5 years after their initial installation. Some can be returned to the manufacturer to be “refurbed” while others will need to be replaced. If you don’t know how old the one in your boat is replace it, they are fairly inexpensive especially when compared to the cost of a funeral.

   Opt for the CO detector that is wired into the vessels 12v system. The ones that rely on you to install the batteries may be cheaper and easier to install but ask yourself this: When was the last time or how often do you check/change out the batteries in the smoke detector(s) in your house?

   Have a qualified service center install the CO detectors but keep in mind that it is your responsibility to check, maintain, and monitor the detection system.

   For those of you that like to run your boat with all the canvas up ,especially the aft curtain, be aware that boats are subject to the “station wagon effect”……..just Google it, OK?

   Did you know that CO can enter your boat through your sink thru-hull drains? Your drain hoses for your sinks should have a droop or trap in them so that  the “trapped”drain water is acting as a barrier.

    Greg and Bill always end the show with, “Whether sail or motor, life is better as a boater.”  True but it’s even better when you are knowledgeable, informed, and are able to return to your homeport safe and dry.

   Capt. Patrick

If you’ve stumbled this far you are neck deep in another one of Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” bonus features. I’m feeling a two-fer since it’s Tuesday so how about an audio clip and an in-studio video?

  Listen in as Bill, Swabby Bob and I interview Capt Keith and the “Barfball” ——>  Barfball

 Watch as ”Greg and Bill Go Fishing For Marlin”——>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ-g_m-rzgY

   Ahh. There is nothing better than a holiday weekend especially if you live in a state where you are never more than 60 miles or less from putting your boat in the water, whether that be an inland lake or river or heading out to the salty stuff. Nothing better, nothing at all, unless you work in customer service for a boat and yacht manufacturer that is.

   Thus dear readers my holiday weekend began with a series of text messages from a particularly frustrated owner of a 28′ express cruiser and if I may quote from the first text that I received,” Patrick!! Hi! I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that this will be the last boat I will ever own! Please call me when you’re free. I won’t take up too much of your time.”

   Yeah, right. But I took a deep breath and returned the call not knowing who the caller was or what the problem(s) might be. It turned out that this particular owner keeps his boat stored out of the water at a marina over on the east coast of Florida and at the time of his text to me his boat had been put in the water and he was currently tied up at a seawall just down from the marina. When I got him on the phone he was very agitated and went on about how this would be the last “Brand X” boat he would ever buy, how he would never buy a ”Brand Y” engine ever again,  how much he hated “Brand Z” generator, and so on.

   At this point what I needed was information in an effort to help this particular customer resolve his issue(s) and I know how hard it is to keep the emotion out of boating. There is a strange dynamic that exists between boats and boat owners and I may at some time in the future delve into that strange world of dysfunction but right now I will attempt to dissect what happened with this owner.

   Problem #1: The boat started to overheat as soon as he started moving away from the marina. Now I would like to think that most reasonable owners would shut their boat down as soon as they hear the overheat alarm go off or see the engine temperature shoot up faster than a junkie that just scored but alas, in this case that was not to be. I asked when his last annual service had been performed and I knew he was in trouble when he couldn’t supply that information. The reason I asked hat question was to determine if and when the water pump impeller had been changed. It looks like the water temp may have reached 220 before he shut the engine off.

   Problem #2: The engine will not start back up. I took him through some fairly simple things to check ( battery, battery switch, voltage, breaker, neutral safety, kill switch) but it still would not turn over. Not a good sign.

   Problem #3: On a whim I had him pull a few spark plugs and they were wet. Not with gasoline mind you but with water. Definitely a very bad sign and a potentially huge problem.

   Problem #4: The generator would run for a short period of time and then shut down. There wasn’t a whole lot that I was going to be able to with that since it was an electronically controlled model and had set a code.

   At this point his boating weekend is over or is it? Not for him as he was determined to stay out on his boat and was thinking about having another boat tow him out to the “party spot”. I asked him if he had a tow service and he in fact did have one. I told him that in my opinion he needed to call them and get towed back to the marina and have the boat hauled and put into dry stack until he could get a trailer and get the boat over to a qualified service center. Do you think that’s what he did? Anyone? Of course it wasn’t. I knew this because I followed up with him a bit later in the day and he was having dinner in a restaurant. He told me that as soon as dinner was done he was going back to the boat. Remember that strange dynamic I mentioned earlier? There it was in all its naked nautical nonsensical glory. All I could do at this point was wish him luck and let him know that I was a phone call away if he needed help but before I hung up I gave him some insight on his situation.

   Simply it was this. The problems he was having with his boat were not the fault of the boat, engine, or generator manufacturer. He, as the owner of this boat, was responsible for making sure that his boat was in operable condition. If you think that you can go three years between annual services or that you can leave your boat sit in a hi&dri for six months and then put it in the water and expect to turn the key and go you are always going to be disappointed. Don’t blame the people who built that boat or assembled the engine and generator. I also told him that if he wasn’t going to use his boat regularly, say every 3-4 weeks, then he should hire a Captain’s service to come out and run his boat and make any necessary repairs to his vessel. It’s called upkeep and maintenance. Believe it or not dear readers I was met with a bit of stony silence on the other end of the phone. I was quickly thanked for my help and hung up on. It’s not that some people don’t get it. It’s that they don’t want to hear it….you know…the truth.

   Capt. Patrick

   This is a video update of the post. Click on the link to see what caused the engine to overheat and lock up.

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELaL4s0B1mc

   Hey! Look what you found. Another one of Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” bonus features. Makes you kinda feel tingly all over like you’re having a seizure doesn’t it?

   This one is a short audio clip from when Barry and his wife visited us in the studio.

   Click the link below to hear:

   Big Out Of The Water

    A truly momentous day on the World Of Boating yesterday for how rare is it that a new word is created? You could say that it is the perfect word, a word that can be used anywhere, anytime and mean anything. It is the all purpose word and I, along with Greg the First Mate and Mike Mazur from Fly Fishing in Salt Waters Magazine, were witness to its birth, as painful as that birthing process was, as Bill the Engineer brought it unto our world. My dear readers I give you “Boom-Shaka-Laka-Sham-Wow”

   Would you like to take this new word for a spin? Let’s try it out with the following examples where you fill in the missing blanks with “Boom-Shaka-Laka-Sham-Wow”

“The Boston Red _______________ ’s lost yet another game to the New York Yankees yesterday.”

“Did you see what that _____________ did? He cut me off in traffic!”

   Say, that’s all right!  Now let’s try a couple without mom or dad running behind the bike as you start to peddle. Ready? Let’s go!

“Doctor, I seem to be having a problem with my _______________.”

“Mom, Dad, I’ve decided. I’m going to study ______________ at Harvard.”

   Outstanding! And now with the training wheels off and heading down the big hill. Hold on tight!

“May I present the 49th President of the United States, George Herbert Walker ______________.”

   Now who wouldn’t vote for guy with a name like that? Not I, that’s for sure but I’d want to see his birth certificate just in case!

See how much fun that is. It may be the best word ever invented since Battlestar Galactica’s “Frak”

   Of course after yesterday’s show it may come to mean metaphorically dying on the air. But I give Bill kudos for at least attempting to bring some humor to a subject that is quite serious and no, I am not referring to the gulf oil spill. I am however referring to the occasional call-in guest that seems to be just about a year slower than where Bill is as far as timing goes. Bill displayed a tenacity with the bit that would make any pitbull owner proud and as such he was a trooper and was determined to see it through to it’s well deserved death. The progression from the “Boom-Shaka-Laka”  to the “Sham Wow” was truly a display of poetic radio personified.

   I remember the very first show that I did with Bill and Greg and one of the subjects up for discussion was cruise ship passengers falling or jumping overboard. As I was explaining that the proper way to hit the water is in a tucked or cannonball position Bill stepped back from his mike and yelled “CANNON-BAAALLL!” He then cast a mischievous look my way and I knew it was game on. I got it, I get it, and at times I try think of ways to one up Bill and Greg but they are both very quick and have about 20 years on me when it comes to doing live radio so I have to resort to dressing up in costumes like “Death” in order to get a laugh. Pathetic. 

   As I wrote in my very first post, “The show is an improvisational ad-libbed ballet and in some amazing way the unscripted chaos comes off sounding quite sane, professional, and most of all, entertaining.” And so it was never truer than yesterday and in regard to yesterday’s show I will blame (or perhaps thank) the caller especially since it is Bill who turns my mike on and off and the last thing I want to be doing is speaking into a dead mike although at times I believe that is what Greg and Bill would enjoy the most.

 Capt. Patrick

   See, I’m not making this too hard for you, am I? If you’ve read this far you have discovered yet another one of Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” bonus features.

   I give you the birth of “Boom-Shaka-Laka-Sham-Wow” 

   Part One:   www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQUd5_gx2lM

   Part Two:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm9CVIZutuU  

And because I’m feeling generous today how about a twofer?

A raw promo that never made it on air with Bill, Swabby Bob, Capt. Patrick, and Marcy Y. Enjoy!

Click the link below to hear:

RocksinPants

   I had seriously considered writing about the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico but it seems to be such a downer and in reality what am I going to tell you that you have not already heard ad nauseum from CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, Mad Magazine, South Park, FOX,  etc?  The oil spill is bad, very very  bad, and it will have far reaching environmental and economic impacts for years if not decades to come.

   By the way my solution to this problem lies with Hollywood movies. Seeing as how they sent oil well drillers to blow up an asteroid maybe we should send some astronauts to the seafloor to cap the well. You would think that with all of our technology and industry there would be somewhere in the good ol’ USofA an abandoned grain silo or something like that which could be lowered to the seafloor to cover the exposed wellhead. Problem solved! Now that was actually quite easy and at this point I should know well enough to quit while I’m ahead but I won’t so I will now proceed with “Hairy Bottoms”

   What is a “Hairy Bottom”? Let me start off by saying please don’t Google “Hairy Bottom” especially if there are children or elderly people in the room with you. I will not be held responsible for any 911 calls or arrests associated with this post or that term. If you Google it you do so at your own risk. You have been warned and that satisfies the legal disclaimer that Greg wanted in connection with this post.

    I was working this past week at Cape Marina ( http://capemarina.com ) in Port Canaveral when I received a call from a yacht owner who was complaining about lack of performance from his 1.2 million dollar yacht. I met the customer, took one look at the visible part of the hull and made the call to have the boat hauled out of the water. The customer at this point is questioning my competency because you see I didn’t even drive his boat! “How can you tell what the problem is if you don’t run it”?  ”There has to be something wrong with this boat”! ”I didn’t spend all this money, blah, blah, blah, blah”. It’s amazing after all these years how well I have learned to look and act sympathetic, understanding, and to a degree apologetic, without choking out the occasional customer or dealer. Just kidding!

   Do you want to know what the problem was?  A poorly maintained vessel and a lack of due diligence by the owner who felt that he could leave the boat in the water for 6-9 months and it would apparently maintain itself. The growth on the hull is just the beginning of his problems but we need to get the bottom, IPS drives, and props cleaned first before we can proceed with the next issue which would be the diesel fuel which is bound to be contaminated with algae. So we will have to shock the fuel with an algaecide and change out the fuel filters a couple of times. Next we will address the seacock intakes, drive intakes, and strainers. As we go through these systems we will need to also tackle the air conditioning systems and the generator.

   Do you hear that sound? CA-CHING! Open that wallet and get out your cash or credit card or bring your checkbook.

  All of this was of course completely avoidable. There have been many times when I have been delivering a yacht to a customer and I am explaining in excruciating detail how to avoid these issues and I can tell by the glazed look that comes over their faces that they aren’t getting any of what I am telling them. I refer to these customers as “key turners” because that’s all they know how to do and that’s all they WANT to know how to do. And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and it is to these customers that I explain that when they get their new toy to their homeport they need to talk to the dockmaster or perhaps another owner of a boat their size and inquire about hiring a service to come out and properly maintain their vessel.

   As we are learning from the paper portfolio exercise that McKinley Williams II is doing for Greg it is not enough just to have money to cover the purchase price of your boat or yacht. You need to budget for maintenance, upkeep, dockage, insurance, and other incidentals. But in reality the easiest way to avoid these problems is to USE YOUR BOAT!  That’s what you bought it for after all, right?

         Capt. Patrick

   A ”Hairy Bottom” in pictures.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               If you’ve read this far you have once again discovered Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” Bonus Feature!

Click the link below to see and hear the WOB crew discussing Jessica Alba’s latest mishap with sea life……..oh and Bill’s dance!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JQagwf-964

  But now I was stuck as I told him the video was ready and of course when I got home it was one technical glitch after another. I finally got the video edited and the music added but then Word Press would not let me upload the video file. So I have posted it to YouTube and I have provided the link below. It is a quirky and unique view of a yacht being brought into a travel lift bay, lifted out of the water and brought over into the boatyard. The marinas have this “thing” about people riding in the boats when they are being moved by the travel lift and by “thing” I mean that they don’t allow it at all so I set the camera up and let it run and I truly hope that you, the readers of this post, enjoy the view of a boat getting moved around while suspended in the air by two large straps. If not, blame Greg and email him and tell him you want more mammal sex, whale poo, and boobs and I am sure he will comply with your wishes which in essence means he will tell me to scour the internet for those stories so he can then have me post them on my Captain’s Log.

Click the link below to watch “Travel Lift Time Machine” Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oTtlxh92vo

Knotical Knews presents a World Of Boating Movie

Capt. Patrick

If you’re reading this you have discovered another one of Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” bonus features!

Click the link below to hear AND see Greg trying to explain his Fish Tail Tall Tale to Bill the Engineer, who frankly isn’t buying any of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRW8NimvDpM

   In KK #8 I wrote about responsibility when boating and responsible boat ownership and soon after posting that there was another incident that unfortunately resulted in a death and it would seem that the people involved want to cast blame on the United States Coast Guard for failing to come to their aid. The story unfolded like this:

   A family of four, two of whom may have had some type of disability, go out in a 14′ boat on Nueces Bay in Texas and sometime during the outing the winds start blowing at 20mph and the boat engine suffers some kind of mechanical breakdown. A family member aboard the boat called the USCG and reported their situation. The USCG, after asking the caller several questions, made the determination that there was not an immediate danger to the people on the vessel or the vessel itself. The USCG gave the caller the number of a marine tow service as they would not be able to respond as the Coast Guard is not intended to be a towing, refueling or mechanic service for boaters, but a first-responder in emergencies where lives are at risk. The family member called the tow service and when informed of the cost, reportedly $200.00, hung up. The family member then called a local bait shop who in turn called a former employee who was on his boat in the area. This person was in communication with the people on the boat via cell phone and it seems in the absence of having flares on board, asked them to shine a light so he could locate them. As he was making his way towards the boat it capsized, perhaps due to the frantic waving of a flashlight, and everyone went into the water. The person who set out to help these people wound up rescuing three of them. He called the Coast Guard and reported that the boat had overturned and they then sent out a helicopter which located the fourth person who unfortunately died. The family is of course blaming the Coast Guard for the loss of their loved one but perhaps they should be asking themselves some hard questions such as;

Why were four people out on a 14′ boat in 20mph winds at night?

Did they have life jackets on board as required and if so where were they or why weren’t they wearing them?

Did they have flares on board as required and if so why didn’t they use them?

Did they have a paddle on board as required?

Did they file a float plan?

Did they take a basic boat safety course?

   I can’t possibly tell you how many times in over 30 years of boating I have seen people, myself included in my youth, make decisions about boating regardless of the weather, boat condition, trailer condition, lack of safety equipment, etc. It seems at times when it comes to getting out on the water we make our decisions based on emotion and lose our common sense.

   In the end this was a senseless, avoidable tragedy but it is not the fault of the Coast Guard,  boat manufacturer, or engine manufacturer. It is the fault of the people who chose to go out on that boat and by doing so put their lives and the lives of their rescuers at risk. Period.

   A note to all that read this post. If you have a boat please get tow insurance. The yearly cost is very affordable and using the service just once will pay for itself and it may just save your life or the life of a loved one.

Capt. Patrick

If you’ve read this far you have discovered Capt. Patrick’s “Hidden In Plain Sight” bonus feature! Read on.

In honor of Earth Day I present to you this audio clip of  Swabby Bob’s solution for Global Warming. Enjoy!

 Click here —> Nuclear Winter

Coming next: “Whale Poo”………count on it.

   Two recent events have prompted me to write on the subject of responsibility and boats. If you listened to this past Saturday’s show World of Boating 4-10-10 HOUR2, we talked about an 18 year old who had just won a lawsuit against Brunswick and Sea Ray because he experienced, in my opinion, a momentary lapse of reason. He jumped out of the back of a boat in order to retrieve a tow rope that had come loose from the ski tow. The driver of the boat, not realizing that his passenger was going to jump, or was in the process of jumping out of the boat, put the boat into reverse in order to back up to the rope. He ran the boat into his friend and the prop severed his leg. An accident? Absolutely. Accidents happen and in this case both the passenger and driver of the boat are, in my opinion, responsible. In fact the same jury that found Brunswick liable also found the passenger and driver equally at fault. Huh? In short, the jury found that the boat and engine should have come with some kind of warning that would let the operator and passengers know about the potential dangers of being struck by a moving propeller. Do you really need to be told that you can be hurt by a moving propeller? The jury thought so and the result: Ka-ching! 3.8 million dollars.

The picture posted below IS NOT the prop that was involved in the accident. It is, however, a prop from a yacht that was run aground. The owner took full responsibilty for not only damaging his boat but also causing injury to one of his passengers. He didn’t try to blame the yacht manufacturer, chart maker, engine manufacturer, USCG, Cheech&Chong, etc.

   The second event involves the original owner of a certain brand of boat that has a Limited Lifetime Structural Hull Warranty. The owner recently brought his boat to his dealer complaining about his transom plate pushing through the transom. Having been in this business for the last 24 years I knew what I was going to find before I even looked at the boat. The transom was rotted due to submersion in water from the inside as evidenced by the water line that was halfway up the transom cutout. I won’t even go into detail about the aftermarket transducers that were installed on the transom without any type of sealant or the five gallon bucket that was full of water in the ski locker. This boat was allowed to fill up with water while sitting on the trailer and it evidently sat for a very long time. The overall condition of the boat could best be described in technical terms as “crap” or “junk”. The owner wasn’t very happy when I told him that his warranty was void due to the condition of his boat and he still feels that his boat should be repaired since the warranty does not specifically state that you can’t leave your boat sitting full of water for two years. Not his fault, no sir! 

Posted below is an actual picture of the bilge area of the boat in question.

   I was raised, along with my brother and sisters, with a specific set of moral guidelines and we were blessed with parents that were able to balance compassion and discipline with their four children. We were taught the differences between what is right and what is wrong, that there are winners and losers and it is okay to lose or fail as long as you did your best and were willing to try again. We were taught that we were going to make mistakes in our lives and that was okay as long as we learned from them and took responsibility for those mistakes. These same life lessons have been passed on to my daughters although with mixed results but that is where I as their father had to step in at times and remind them that not everyone gets a trophy or an award and if you run into the back of someone’s car with your car it is YOUR FAULT not the other driver because they stopped in the middle of their turn or somesuch nonsense

   If you jump in the water behind a moving boat and lose a limb or allow your boat to fill up with water to the point where your boat is unusable it most certainly is not the fault of the company that built the boat. It is your fault. Period.

Capt. Patrick

Gregory Holt: Those of you that know about ScubaRadio, know that we are the world’s first radio show devoted to diving. A listener called in a couple weeks ago that thought I said we were the world’s first radio show devoted to “dying!” As funny as this was, I started to think about it and decided this could be something. Long story… short….DeathRadio debuts this Saturday at 3pm EST!

You never know who is reading your Facebook posts or coming to collect on that deal you made with the Devil!

“Death” enjoyed his visit and stopped to sign autographs and shake hands which unfortunately decreased the World Of Boating and Scubaradio fan base by three.

Exclusive audio of Greg and Bill’s interview with “Death” Click the link below:

Death stops by for a chat with Greg and Bill

Capt. Patrick

The story involved a 16 year old boy from New Jersey who had his friends bury him up to his neck while sitting cross-legged in the hole that was dug for him. Problem? Yeah, you could say that. It was low tide and as the tide started to come in the water was getting closer to his head and the sand was getting wet and compacting itself thereby constricting not only his movements but also his ability to breathe. By the time his friends got there they couldn’t dig him out fast enough to match pace with the incoming tide. They started to build “sand dams”  around his head to which Bill asked incredulously, ” Have any of these people ever been to the beach and made a sand dam at the beach… to hold back the Atlantic Ocean?” In short it never ever works. As the story progressed his friends and other beach-goers are now trying to dig him out with those tiny plastic beach shovels but they can’t dig fast enough and the water is now up to his nose and his ability to breathe is about to be compromised. Solution: A snorkel which enabled him to breathe until EMS got there and dug him out.

   Being the slightly twisted individual I am I immediately set out to immortalize this story in song because not since Gordon Lightfoot’s ” The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” or perhaps “Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass had there ever been a story involving the sea, or the people that make their living from it, that needed to be set to music or set on fire as much as this one. I had a specific type of song in mind but as I started to lay down the drum and guitar tracks it started to take a much darker turn. I decided to use some of the audio from the show so you will hear Greg and Bill speaking between the lyrics being sung and I use the term “sung” very, very loosely. This is not a parody mind you but an original musical masterpiece……. of crap, but it’s mine and by mine I mean the World Of Boating’s because I will not have the blame land solely upon my shoulders. There will be plenty of blame to go around for all to share. 

As for the title of this post, that is what Greg the First Mate yelled into the mike in his best New Joisey accent while doing a very awkward Michael Jackson CG&T (crotch grab and thrust) as he envisioned the teens from Jersey taunting the ocean, in fact daring the ocean to come up and try to drown their friend……… and the rest is history and with that please allow me to apologize in advance for the upcoming assault on your senses.

Enjoy!

Click this link to listen if you dare!   ->   Gotyourwater2.1

Capt. Patrick

Don’t forget about your chance to win a $25.00 West Marine gift card by writing a caption for the photo in KK#3!